Mindmapping the lunch breath kind of way. Why? Because I needed a laugh.
It has been said that I only worry about other people and not myself. Well that’s not really true. I worry on the inside. In fact I was so worried this past weekend that I barely ate and slept for 72 hours. Was it worth it? Should I have been worrying in the first place. NO, one petrifying phone call later, ( I was literally curled up in a blanket making it) I found out that I shouldn’t have been worrying in the first place. I had done nothing wrong. So how do you eliminate worry?
After my petrifying non disaster phone call I began to spring clean my house, I’ve been putting it off for ages never finding the time. Getting rid of stuff is a great way to start worrying less.
Secondly write a list of things you worry about. Notice which ones you can fix, get them thingsas soon as possible. These ones include a tidy house.
Next notice the things you don’t have control over. Is it going to rain for that picnic on the weekend. We can’t control whether it happens or not so why worry. Sometimes we can’t control everything in our lives and that’s okay.
Lastly the thing we worry over that need longterm preparation to work through them. They are neither fast to solve or something we can’t control. I hate driving. I’m scared to death of it. I sit in the drivers seat and break out into a cold sweat, my heart starts thumping a million miles an hour and vi feel like I’m going to pass out.
Why, because I was told that if I ever drove I would kill someone. Now I’ve had driving lessons and have been told I’m a great driver, cautious and need a bit more confidence, but not someone you wouldn’t want to share the road with. But I worry about ever having to drive on a daily basis. And we all have that thing we worry about but can’t seem to fix.
You know what I think? I left it too long to get back into the saddle after being put down. And now I’ve build it up into this massive big hurdle in my mind that I just can’t seem to get past. So those tricky worries on your list? Try and knock them on the head as soon as you can. Don’t let them build for years like me, they will eat you alive. Oh and if you have any ideas to make me brave enough to drive, I’m all ears.
Motivation, we all lack it at some stage. Thankfully there are steps that we can take to get our motivation back into top gear.
1. Stay positive – look on the bright side, developing a glass is half full attitude will help you feel more motivated.
2. Create goals. Proper goals that get written down
3. Visualize success. If you can dream it you can achieve it. Keep your mind on the end goal and work hard. You will get there.
4. Keep good company. Your are the sum of the top 5 people you interact with. Invest in the relationships which make you feel more motivated and inspired to do great things with your life.
5. Track your success. Take note of the little successes along the way. They are achievements as well, no matter how little they are.
6. Remember why. Why did you want to do it in the first place?
Here is a Infographic from virtuallinda.com which shows the steps in more detail.
Imagination is everything. It is the preview of life’s coming attractions. Albert Einstein
Creativity gives us the ability to take normal ideas and situations and change them into wonderful experiences and new inventions. We all gained the ability to be curious as children and nurturing this talent as adults in a more controlled environment can have great results on our ability to achieve success. Below is an infographic from the lovely site Creattica (sadly moved on to bigger things) on 29 ways to stay creative in busy world.
Don’t feed your mind with negative thoughts. If you do, you will come to believe them. Catherine Pulsifer
Nothing is a greater killer of the mind than toxic thoughts. We are for the most part our own worst enemies.
1. The grass is always greener on the other side. Maybe its like the sign saying wet paint by the park bench, we always have to check to make sure. Guess what the grass on the other side is greener, because your paying so much attention to it that for forgot to pay attention to you own grass. Just because something looks better doesn’t mean it is, everything has its own problems no matter how green it looks.
2. Starting tomorrow, or even worse on Monday. What’s so special about Monday. If you really want to get something done start today. By putting of tasks until tomorrow, which never comes you will never get anything done, your brain will simply go into excuse overdrive
3. Its too much. Its never too late to be a better version of yourself. Have a look at the 80 year olds doing university degrees. No matter what has come before in your life, you can always improve, do better and change. Age and life experience solely help you to persevere more deeply.
4. What I want to do isint good enough. Probably the worst negative self talk is the not good enough kind. People are so scared of perceived failure and/or putting themselves out there that they would rather keep their ideas inside. Your ideas are probably brilliant, speak up.
5. Needing someone else to make you happy. If your not happy within yourself, a significant other will not make you happy. You need to learn how to make yourself happy instead on relying on everyone else to make you happy within yourself. This is obviously different if you just need cheering up, but if you can’t live with yourself happily you can’t live with others happily either.
Mediocrity, the currency of friendships around the world. Its sad really as soon as you want to achieve something in your life you suddenly go from being good enough to being far too good for them. Their words not mine. And it never occurred to me that studying while raising kids at home was a bad thing. It wasn’t really, but man the moment I graduated, everything changed, did I wake up that day a different person, did I go running around telling people they were useless for not studying? No I simply breathed and I was a traitor for wanting a better life and a chance to do some good in the world.
So what have I learnt?
Change makes people uncomfortable
People often feel inadequate when other people achieve things they wish they could
We never want to feel the worst at something, so hanging around people we perceive as being the same makes us feel better as people.
So should we not aspire to achieve things because we make the people close to us uncomfortable?
You should want to do better, even the people who don’t like you doing well wish they could better. How do you deal with it then?
Explain to them, that you adore them for who they are, that their perceived lack of achievements isint the reason you enjoy their friendship.
Sit down and discover what they would love to do, is it something you can help them with or steer them in a good direction.
Sometimes friendships unfortunately come to as natural end, especially if both sides don’t want to talk about the problems. Increase your circle of friends, find ones who encourage and inspire you to be a better person, and who value you for just being you
So the old story goes, you can be anything you want to be. So what happens when you have no idea of what you want to be or the list of things you want to do with your life is seemingly endless.
Do you choose the fastest or slowest to accomplish, the one which is experience rich or money rich, or the one which does the most for others vs yourself.
You could just scrap the list and sit about thinking which one you should do first. The reality however would mean that you are a “I wanna”. In order to achieve your goals you not only have to pick one to go first but you need to take the first step. The first step in anything in life is always the hardest. By putting yourself out there you have to risk feeling like you have failed if you don’t succeed.
Wrong. Just because you failed in your attempt in achieving your goals doesn’t mean you have really failed as a person. There are lessons to learn in every failure.
You now know what doesn’t work, tweak it and try again. Countless numbers of the most famous discoveries were chanced upon by hypothetical failure.
There is a wealth of learning to be gained by being ” wrong” and there is no better reward than the success that you feel after working really hard on a project to make it work.
So how do you pick where to start, do you want fast gratification or slow burn success. Which one you do first depends on your resources available at the time. Do your projects require you to have additional skills? List them so they build on each other. Choose the ones that enable you to spend energy on your family and work commitments as well. Who knows if you get really good at your project, it may turn into your job one day.
So how did you choose where to start?